What Are You Really Hungry For?
Many of my clients what to lose weight and are struggling to love their bodies, especially if they have recently gained weight. They come to me for weight loss, and even though exercise, like yoga can help with weight loss, what I really have to offer is much more profound. Outlined in this article is my approach to food from a yogic perspective. I am not a personal trainer, nutritionist or dietitian. These ideas are about our relationship to food as an extension of our relationships with ourselves. Weight gain has many causes, but one I see a lot is emotional eating. With emotional eating we are trying to self-sooth from stress using food. There is no physical hunger (or very little). The hunger is actually a spiritual hunger.
What is Emotional Eating?
Eating caused by emotions is very different from physical hunger, because it is in response to intense feelings. The cues for eating arise from the mouth or even the chest instead of the belly. The timing one gets hungry is sudden, random and sporadic versus being at predictable and consistent time that line up with our bodies digestive process. The craving is often for highly specific foods, like chocolate or chips. What do you crave when you are sad or lonely? Normal physical hunger is usually sated by more than one type of food on the other hand. Being sated can be hard with emotional eating even when we feel full, because the intense emotional is still there. Sometimes this leads to even more over-eating and feelings of guilt or shame. There can be an urge to eat in isolation or secrecy because of this.
Spiritual Hunger May Be Your True Craving
We try to fill ourselves with food when what we really need is spiritual fulfillment. We can be hungry to feel connected to ourselves, others and all of creation and mistake it for physical hunger. To really satiate spiritual hunger we need to ask ourselves some important questions, so that we can see what is going on inside of us. We need to pause, identify and explore ourselves, not just reach for the bag of chips. In this way we will be able to meet our spiritual needs with awareness and compassion and create the change we are seeking.
Questions to Ask Yourself
What is it you want and what are the biggest obstacles?
Identify your intentions. Get specific. Intentions are different from goals in that they are present moment experiences not a result you are looking for in the future. Intentions are about how you feel right now. It doesn’t mean you cannot have goals, too, but focus first on your intention to understand better why you might create a goal in the future and what it would be.
When it comes to your obstacles, look for the root of the issue, not just the reality on the surface. Try to remember that you play a part in the obstacles. Your life is your creation. Consider where are you responsible for the obstacles and how you can effect them.
What is stressful or chaotic in your life? What coping skills (healthy and unhealthy) do you rely on the most?
Many of us find ourselves over-eating on a regular basis due to stress. Stress won’t necessarily go away, though it ebbs and flows, but what we can change is our response to the stress. List the coping strategies you use that leave you feeling better and healthier afterwards and the ones that have unhealthy or unwholesome side effects. These side effects could be on your body, your relationships with others or on the planet.
What thoughts and/or behaviors get in the way of you having the relationship with your body you desire?
Identify specific thoughts and behaviors that effect your relationship with body. You can consider not only your diet and exercise, but also the way you think about your body. Do you compare yourself to others?
Who are your body image role models? Why do they inspire you? What do they embody in their relationship with their body that you want to cultivate in your life?
You can put a picture of them on your alter or your mirror to remind you of your intention to create a relationship with you body that they have. Meditating on things they have said that inspire you can also be a lovely way to bring them more into your life and help you embody the same wisdom they have.
Where do you want to go? Describe the relationship you want to have with your body in five words:
Practices to Try:
Take the five words you came up with in answering the last question and create your own loving-kindness meditation for yourself using those words and ideas. Meditate for 10 minutes a day repeating these phrases of loving-kindness towards yourself. For more about this read my blog on Metta.
Look at your body in a mirror, clothes or unclothed, with the intention to be loving and look for things you like. Find as many things you like as you can. (To hear more about my process with weight and self-love you can look here.)
Get Real and Make it Happen!
What three actions will you take, starting this week, to nudge your intention into fruition? Be real about what is possible. This actions can be large or small. They can be physical or metaphysical.
Do you have a network of friends, family or professionals who support you? If you think you need more support consider who is missing on your team? Could it be a therapist, a gym buddy, a yoga teacher or a doctor?
To read more on this topic go to Eating to Thrive