Sacred Embodiment Practices To Do With A Partner
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I am sharing with you some fun and effective ways to create more connection with yourself and with a partner through embodied practices of reverence for deeper intimacy. I’ll be giving ideas for how to use yoga, playful movement, eye gazing, massage, and dance to enliven your body, mind and spirit and open your heart to a partner. I've been a dancer, yoga therapists and massage therapist for many years and have seen how intentional connection exercises can help lovers, friends, family, and individuals to find their way to, or back to, connection.
The most important part of these practices is that they have the safety of a consent-based environment. When you know you can say “No”, and have it heard at all time, that makes your “Yes” more easily forth-coming. Possibilities arise that wouldn’t have been available without the security consent creates.
A Touch-Positive Environment
People raised in America, grew up in a country with puritanical roots. We have been told overtly, and covertly, by society that the flesh is sinful. Classical yoga philosophy is similar in teaching that spirit is inherently good and the flesh, our bodies, as inherently bad. But, Tantra yoga philosophy is different. It tells us that the body can be a tool for transformation. This is most easily experienced during a great massage or in the arms of a loved one. The act of being touched, lovingly, by another human being brings us into greater emotional and physical health. Since all people evolved to be in tribes, we all need touch.
Why To Start with Eye Gazing
Eye gazing is the simple act of making extended eye contact with another person. It’s a powerful, intimate practice that can help you become closer to another person and have the feeling of being seen yourself. It reduces the boundaries between “self” and “other,” creating a feeling of “oneness” and connection.
Eyes are the most expressive facial features, communicating a range of social cues and emotions. On a psychological level, prolonged eye contact can benefit your relationships by helping you recognize emotions, thus creating an opportunity for emotional connection.
It increases intimacy! In a pair of studies from 1989, strangers who looked into each other’s eyes for 2 minutes experienced mutual feelings of love. A 2003 study found that the longer someone stared at a face, the more they became attracted to it.
What to build trust with your partner quickly? Many people consider eye contact to be a sign of trustworthiness. A 2016 study showed people are more likely to believe a person who’s looking them in the eyes. On the other hand, if someone is unwilling to look you in the eyes there is often as intuitive sense of being lied to.
Massage Practices To Enjoy
Most professional massage modalities utilize massage oils and are done disrobed. This isn’t required though, and in fact there are many beneficial stroked that can be don’t completed clothed. Whatever level of undress suits you in the moment is the perfect place to be. Feeling comfortable is key to building deeper layers of connection with your partner. Clothed or unclothed? It’s totally up to you.
Consider what kind of touch you would enjoy giving and receiving. Massage can range from stretching, pulling, and rocking techniques to holding pressure points or doing long, soft strokes. All of these styles have the potential to relieve tension, enhance of sense of connection to your body and develop intimacy with your partner.
Massage your partner in ways that feel good to give. Don’t strain yourself or create discomfort in the effort to produce a better massage. Give in ways you enjoy.
It doesn’t have to be a full-body, hour long massage to be amazing. Start with short, attainable and rewarding cycles.
Be Free with Dance and Playful Movement
You can dance in whatever way your body wants to move, which can include moving separately or together. Just finding enjoyable movement in the same space, with an intention to connect, is going to produce more fun and intimacy for you both.
Movement could include improvisational ways of sharing body weight through counterbalance or choreographic steps. What really matters is that it is playful and non-judgmental to yourself and your partner.
Through improvisational, intuitive movements the opportunity is created to explore your needs and desires in the present moment.
Try Someone New: Partner Yoga
Unlike standard yoga where everyone is doing their personal yoga practice, in partner yoga people give and receive touch, fostering communication, trust and compassion.
Pick postures and sequences that help you to create and nurture trust, strengthen communication and feel lighthearted! Not sure how? Contact me here.
Having communication, and making agreements, about how you do, and do not, want to be touched in the poses opens the doors for gradually building to exercises that require deeper layers of trust and surrender.
It cultivates the skill of deep listening to yourself and others, both verbally and non-verbally. These practices help to engage more compassionately and truthfully with yourself and your relationships.